When we die love doesn’t stop; it continues like a breath expelled that floats in the atmosphere until it is inhaled.
I must have read that somewhere and decided to jot that down in my journal.
Sometimes I feel lost.
The realization that Dad is no longer with us (he died of cancer last October) strikes me at odd moments like the other day while I made pancakes or took my car to the garage. My financial future looms before me, and I’m left feeling…alone. Although, I am not alone. I don’t have Dad’s physical presence, but I have my heavenly Father. Sometimes the thoughts of whether or not God would intervene in our minuscule affairs pop into my head. I know He loves us. I also know things don’t always turn out the way we plan for them to. Nevertheless, it does not mean goodness and mercy are lost.
Perhaps I don’t know how or what to pray as I ought. I ask and leave it at that. What else is there to say to the One Who already knows? Sometimes I don’t open my mouth. He knows my thoughts. And sometimes words aren’t adequate.
Sometimes I’m tempted to panic, because I haven’t accomplished the goals and dreams I’ve set for myself. Sometimes I’m afraid my life is insignificant because I’m not further along with achieving something grand.
Eventually I realize how shallow those fears are. I have friends and family who call on me and reach out to me when they need me. I am needed and I do matter, even though my circle of intimate friends and family is small.
When the light of love and thankfulness penetrates the gloom, I realize my problems are nothing compared to the many souls hurting and suffering around the world. We all have our share of burdens to carry. I shouldn’t complain or feel sorry for myself. There are others who have it more difficult than me. When I finally get perspective and realize that, I pray for them.
When we die love does not stop. When I think of Dad, I know that he loved me. He invested his life into mine, and that’s a lasting mark. Love is ever more tangible when I stop focusing on myself and see the people around me to whom I can show love.